Discipline and Positive Reinforcement

The fundamental rule for all discipline problems is encouraging good behavior instead of punishing bad behavior. It’s a tried and tested method that rewards work better than punishments.

The important thing about establishing discipline is to remain consistent in your speech, your actions and your attitudes. Most importantly, you need to follow up with action what you assert with words. If you are not consistent, you send confused signals to the child. Then you can’t blame him for not obeying you. How can he abide by your wishes, if he doesn’t even know what you want him to do?

There is no short-cut as far as disciplining your child is concerned. When one method doesn’t work, you will have to try another; you can’t just throw discipline out of the window and forget about it. As parents, you must know that punishment tactics have more chances of failing; so, try a reward system. You cannot expect positive children's behavior by meting out negative behavior to them. Children are like mirrors; they reflect you. You can’t yell and demand silence from your child, for example. And, you can’t afford to become hysterical when your child is throwing a tantrum.

Don't know where to start with establishing a reward system? Here are some parenting help steps to help you get started.

1. Both parents must sit down and formulate an action plan. Communication is the keyword here. Make a list of child behavior actions and rewards. For example, you can set a reward for cleaning up the bedroom without having to be reminded.

2. The next step is to sit down with your children, if they are old enough, and explain the system. Remember to engage older children in this type of routine change. It will make it run smoothly and avoid any child behavior problems. If they feel they are contributing to the household decision making process they will be more willing to cooperate. Younger children listen to older siblings more than they obey orders from parents. They are the second-rung management, you see.

3. You can make use of a chart that will help you keep a record and follow through. It serves as a visual reinforcement also.

These three steps will help you get started in establishing a reward-based child discipline system in your home to make sure things get done. The bottom line is to use the rewards system more often than resorting to punishment. It is important for setting a positive foundation for self-esteem.

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Dr. Noel Swanson has a free newsletter on children's behavior problems and also frequently writes for Yes Parenting website.
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