Getting Children to Sleep

Most adults have learned that they won't fall asleep until they are relaxed. Even though it sounds contradictory, learning to relax can take some work.

We also need to feel secure and safe in the bed. Some children with sensory integration difficulties, such as problems with touch sensitivity, body position sense (proprioception), or gravitational insecurity may find lying down on a high bed difficult. Such children may be helped by having heavy blankets that help them to feel more grounded.

To sleep, we then need to turn our minds off the business of the day, shut out the distractions of the environment and slow down our heart rate and metabolism. As we drift into sleep, not only does the body slow down, so too does the brain. Brain waves, which are often running along at 14 Hertz (cycles per second) or more during the day, will slow down first to an "alpha" rhythm (around 10 Hz) and then gradually right down to the deep sleep of a "delta" rhythm (4-7 Hz).

Everyone has to quiet their minds before they can fall asleep. It isn't always easy, but we need to learn how to let go of what happened during the day, close our ears and minds to any environmental distractions, and slow our heart rates and metabolism. During the day our brainwaves run at 14 Hertz, or cycles per second. They may even cycle higher. When we fall asleep the brain and body both slow down. During the first stage of sleep our brainwaves slow to an "alpha" rhythm of about 10 Hz. During deep or "delta" sleep we are running at 4 to 7 Hz.

A warm bath and hot milky drink. The warm bath relaxes the body, and allows the metabolism to slow down as it does not need to be so busy generating heat. Warmth also relaxes muscles. Warm milk contains an amino acid called Tryptophan which is a naturally occurring sedative. Obviously avoid drinks such as Coca Cola, tea or coffee, which all contain caffeine. Avoid also activities that are arousing or frustrating; just before bed is not the time for them to be getting upset about their homework or frustrated with their Gameboy.

A bedtime story. This helps to push out the anxieties of the day, whilst also giving the child some special one-to-one attention. The child feels loved and valued, and therefore safe and secure. This can be followed by a recorded tape story, to which the child can listen with eyes closed and in a darkened room. But pick a story that is calming, not frightening!

Relaxing music. Unlike the eyes, we cannot close our ears. The sounds and noises of our environment are constantly entering into our system. Most of them tend to wake us up and increase stress. This is particularly true of sudden and unexpected noises, such as a dog barking, a fox howling, of a heavy lorry passing by. While we cannot shut our ears, we can modify the sounds around us. First of all is to make the room as quiet as possible. Often there is not much that you can do about this, but certainly heavy curtains, double glazing, and closed doors can all help.

Since we can't close our ears, relaxing music might help lessen the shock and disturbance of hearing sounds from our environment. Sudden noises and those not expected tend to wake us and cause stress. Some sounds we can't control are a barking dog at the neighbors, a fox or other creature howling, or even lorries passing the house. However, we can take some steps to modify our environment. Using heavy drapes or curtains, double glazed windows and closing doors can aid in keeping out some sounds.

If we want to introduce sounds to drown out the disturbing ones, we need to use care. Sounds known as white noise, come from fans and humidifiers. A soothing radio program can also help lessen the effects of the dogs and lorries. Because of the pitch and the beat of the sound we introduce, we can cause more stress than relaxation, if we don't know what we're doing. Remember that the higher frequencies give us energy while the lower ones help us relax. White noise and most radio music are high frequency. If your radio is a less expensive model, then the bass response is poor, making it worse. In general, popular music is played at a fast beat. The worst type for sleep is disco music. Most of us can't help somehow engaging with the music, by tapping or nodding to its beat. We refer to this as entertainment and tell ourselves that our bodies want to align with the rhythms of our universe. The problem is that our heart rates also align with the beat. If the music is up tempo our heart rate increases. To slow it down for sleep we need to play slow and calming music.

Colour and Light. Not only are our bodies and minds sensitive to the frequencies and rhythms or sounds, we are also profoundly affected by light and colour. This is well know by supermarkets and football teams! The supermarkets use green/blue tinged lights to make the vegetables look greener and fresher, but red tinged light on their meat counters. This is done very subtly, but very effectively. The colours on the product packaging are equally carefully chosen and designed to motivate you to buy. The stores are brightly lit, and may have "muzak" playing. All of this is done to make you feel up-beat and comfortable. The longer you stay, the more you will spend. Contrast that with some dingy shops that you know. In the same way, some football clubs will paint their changing rooms in different colours - red for the home team, as it is activating and arousing; and blue for the away team, as it is relaxing and calming.

Blue is for serenity, green for harmony and peace, pink instills warmth and cosiness. All of these, especially if in muted tints, are ideal of bedrooms, although blue and green may produce too cold an atmosphere. On the other hand bright and vibrant colours such as yellows and reds will rev us up and keep us awake. The effects are subtle and certainly not conscious, but even so are very real.

Lighting also makes a big difference. Obviously, bright lights wake us up, as do cold or bluish tinged lights, such as fluorescent. This mimics early morning sun. Twilight consists of warm reds and oranges. That means light from a dim bulb, candle, oil lamp, or fire, is more likely to help us sleep. If you include pink furnishings and slow, soft music and the sounds of waves lapping at the beach, you will have a winning combination.

The other relaxing aspect of flames is that they flicker. Typically they flicker at 6-7 Hz. This produces the relaxed state of "theta wave" activity in the brain.

Natural flames are so relaxing because they flicker. The typical rate is 6-7 Hz. The brain responds to this frequency by relaxing into "theta wave" mode.

Aroma. Smell is, in fact, the most primitive and basic of our senses. How often have you had a brief whiff of some smell that has brought certain memories and emotions to come flooding back? Smells affect our emotional state, and the right smells can help us to sleep. Recommended for sleep are the essential oils of mandarin, chamomile roman, lavender and palma rosa. For children over five, neroli, geranium and nutmeg can be added to the list. These oils can be combined, with a mixture of mandarin, chamomile and palma rosa, and also of chamomile, geranium and nutmeg being particularly effective. The oils can be put in bath water, rubbed on the skin with massage oil, or put in the water of the humidifier. Once again, moderation is the key. It is subtlety that we are looking for, not an overpowering smell.

Were you aware that our sense of smell is the most primitive of all our senses? It's true. You can most likely think of occasions when there was some scent in the air, even momentarily, that reminded you of something from your past. The experience can be quite emotional. Following that idea, it stands to reason that some aromas will enable us to fall asleep faster, and get a better rest during the night. There are several essential oils that serve that purpose specifically: mandarin, chamomile roman, lavender and palma rosa are among them. Others that are safe for children older than five are neroli, geranium and nutmeg. Combine these for your child with mandarin, chamomile and palma rosa. Mixtures including chamomile, geranium and nutmeg are considered to be the most effective. You may need to do some experimenting to find the best combination, but remember to be moderate with your mixtures. Ways to use them are in the bath water, rubbed on skin (add massage oil), or added to humidifier water. These subtle aromas can be most effective relaxation techniques.

Not having some fresh air to breathe at night can be interrupting to sleep. Think about opening a window, even if it's just a tiny bit. Too many people close all the windows and leave the heat running at night. Not only does it get close and too warm, lack of humidity dries out nasal passages. When we are uncomfortable, especially when it comes to breathing, we tend to sleep poorly and awaken often.

Waking during the night. It is normal to wake or almost wake several times during the night. The trick is to get back to sleep again. All of the above will increase the chances of this. Along with this it is important not to reinforce a behaviour pattern of waking up during the night by giving it a lot of attention. Infants and young children especially will often cry or make other noises when they wake. Do not immediately rush in to comfort them - this will only wake them up more, and reinforce the pattern of waking in the night. If you leave them alone, most will gradually settle and go back to sleep by themselves. Initially this may take some time, as they are used to getting your attention, but gradually, if you stay firm, this period of time will get shorter.

Of course these are a million other ways to help your child to sleep. Feel free to experiment to find what works for you.

But what about yourself? As a parent, how ofter to you wish you could just catch up on some sleep? How often do you feel worn out, tired and exhausted? Or wish you could just catch a few zzz's before the kids get home? Most likely, you are still believing in some 19th Century myths about sleep. Take a look at this website to discover some amazing facts about sleep that could seriously transform your life. May you have peaceful nights and pleasant dreams.

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