How to Get Your Child to Do His Homework

Most children hate doing homework; it restricts their freedom to play and is a grim reminder of school. They wonder why school has to continue at home also. So, it is quite normal for children to put up some kind of a fuss, which could be gentle grumbling or outright refusal.

The problem is that you, and the teachers, can see some long-term benefit to studying. To the child it just seems to be a pointless hassle that is keeping him away from doing something fun. Not only that, if the child finds the work hard, and/or is used to getting poor grades for his work, the whole exercise becomes even more demoralizing and discouraging. Given all that, what child in his right mind WOULD want to do their homework?

So, if homework is to be done, you are going to need to set things up in a way that, to the child's way of thinking, outbalances all the negatives. You may never get to the point where she says, "Oh, goody! More homework to do! I can't wait!", but you may, at least, get to, "Well, I guess I had better get this homework done and out of the way."

How do you achieve that? Here are some suggestions:

1. Don't fight with your child. Yelling at them to do their homework probably won't work, and will just frustrate and infuriate yourself, your child, and the neighbors. Instead, be pro-active by setting up the home environment and routines so as to encourage good study habits. Focus on rewards rather than punishments.

2. Check with the school about how much homework is expected and how long it should take. If it takes your child considerably longer than that, or if the grades are consistently very poor, it is time to speak with the school. It may be that there are some learning or attention difficulties that need to be addressed. The more failures you child experiences with respect to homework, the less likely he will want to do it - this includes both the length of time it takes to get it finished, and the difficulty of the work. If, for example, a problem with dyslexia means that it takes three times as long to complete the work, then perhaps you should agree with the school that your child will do as much as he can in the allotted 40 minutes (or whatever), and if it is not completed, then so be it.

3. Create a place that is conducive to working. It is hard to get homework done if you have to do it on your lap while everyone else is watching TV. Maybe have a rule about no TV until everyone's homework is done. Make a cleared space on the kitchen table, or a table or desk in her bedroom, that is clear from distractions and interruptions. Ideally set up an area that is exclusive to your child.

4. Your child will need some help and support. But, don't start doing the homework. Help by way of getting him started, or to find the books or websites that will help. Teach them to find the relevant material. You can help him with spellings or work through a math problem with him. Most importantly, stay calm! You may find the problem simple but it may not be so simple for your child. Give him time to learn things.

5. Be generous in appreciating every single achievement no matter how small it is. First focus on getting the homework done, then start to focus on quality. Let that be the teacher’s responsibility; you remain confined to the homework only. Your efforts should be directed towards inculcating diligence and persistence. However, you can ask your child to read his work out loud so as to catch obvious mistakes and correct them.

6. If necessary, set up a reward chart that explicitly rewards homework completion by means of extra privileges, such as TV, or family treats or activities. Again, focus first on rewarding the regular completion of work. Later on you can reward higher grades. Setting up a regular schedule is often helpful.

7. There may be a specific subject that is causing problems. For that you need to see the teacher and take her help and guidance to work on the deficient areas.

8. Often, the long-term projects become too unwieldy and burdensome. You can help your child break it down into smaller chunks for which you can set realistic goals and deadlines. This will help in getting the work done as well teach your child how to organize and plan.

9. If you don’t have so much time, you may find out about a homework club. Many schools offer to supervise homework after school. Many children like doing their homework with their friends under the guidance of the teacher rather than at home with other family members, TV, meals and all the other distractions.

10. Above all, focus on helping your child to experience success. Failure breeds discouragement which leads to giving up. Success, on the other hand, is motivating and encourages more attempts. Do whatever you can to make the homework experience a success - either in itself, or by means of the rewards that it earns.

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