Modern Anniversary Gift Giving

The traditional concept of giving paper or cotton for a first or second anniversary is now a thing of the past. The anniversary gift etiquette has largely changed over time. People have more to spend and gifts define the personal style of the giver. But a gift is a token of love and can transcend traditions and etiquette, if it is truly thoughtful and from the heart.

Modern anniversary gifts take into account the changing desires of society, especially in terms of when gifts are given. Instead of paper for a first anniversary, the modern gift is a clock. For the second it is china, and for the third it is crystal or glass. This is a move away from supplying things considered essential for the running of a household (paper, cotton, leather).

Fourth anniversaries are marked with appliances rather than fruit or flowers, and we give silverware as a fifth anniversary gift instead of wood. Wood still remains on the list, however, for the sixth anniversary (instead of candy or iron). And, quite often, the wood is in the form of figures or some sort of antique, rather than wood for the fire or a chair made of wood for sitting.

With the increasing focus on work, desk sets have become a favorite seventh anniversary gift instead of copper and wool. The tradition of giving pottery or bronze for the eighth anniversary has been replaced by lace and linens, marking our move away from utilitarian tastes to an increased sense of luxury. And instead of gifts made of willow, we now give leather gifts on the ninth anniversary.

More traditional anniversary gifts slowly worked their way up to the trappings of jewelry, not arriving until the 25th anniversary. The more modern take, however, is to mark the 10th anniversary with diamond jewelry. It does not need to be anything extravagant, but the jump to diamonds at the 10th probably speaks to the increase in the divorce rate, it's an accomplishment to stay together for ten years in today's world.

Modern anniversary gifts continue in a vein of being more expensive than their traditional counterparts continuing on up. The 11th anniversary is marked by fashion jewelry, the twelfth by pearls (the 30th in tradition), 13th by textiles or furs, the 14th by gold jewelry, and the 15th by watches. Many people get matching "his" and "her" watches.

Gift giving then skips from the 15th to the 20th anniversary, which is marked with platinum. After the 20th, the modern gifts fall back somewhat in line with the traditional. The traditional and modern gift for the 25th anniversary is the same ie silver, but the 30th anniversary gift in modern times is a diamond instead of the traditional pearl. The last variation is the 35th anniversary, which was traditionally marked by coral and is now commemorated with jade.

The rest of the anniversary gift giving etiquette is more or less the same for both modern and traditional: ruby marks the 40th, sapphire the 45th, gold the 50th, emerald the 55th and diamond the 60th.

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