Parenting Advice: Children and Night Terrors

Q. "Sometimes, in the middle of the night, my seven-year-old sits bolt upright, stares straight ahead, and screams at the top of his voice. It sounds like he is being attacked by an axe murderer! We try to comfort him, but he doesn't even know we are there. This goes on for many minutes. Then he goes back to sleep. If we wake him, he seems confused and cannot remember what he was dreaming about."

A. Your little boy doesn't remember his dream because he wasn't dreaming. It sounds as if he's experiencing night terrors.

Scientists have studied brain wave (EEG) patterns, and concluded that we go through a series of four stages while falling asleep. We start at stage one and progress through the third and fourth stages. Within about 90 minutes we go into our deepest sleep.

It is interesting to note that we don't dream during any of these stages. If you awaken someone during this time, they probably won't remember anything. The only thing they may say is that they were "thinking".

As the four stages fade, we fall into a totally different sleep mode known as "rapid eye movement" (REM). This is the time in which we dream. If you could watch someone during REM sleep, you'd see their eyes darting from side to side. Throughout the night we go in and out of REM sleep. We usually dream for approximately 45 minutes before returning to non- REM sleep, which lasts for an hour or so, and then back to a REM sleep state. As the night progresses the non-REM stages become lighter. This explains an old saying, "an hour before midnight is worth two after".

If we have nightmares, they occur while we are dreaming. They can be full blown horror movie experiences and very frightening.

Night terrors, on the other hand, occur in stage four sleep. This is also the stage in which sleepwalking and talking occur. The reason they occur is unknown, and most children grow out of them. They may be worse at times of stress.

Of course they are very disturbing to the parents and siblings, but they really don't harm the child. It's actually best if you can stand to, to just leave him alone. You even said yourself that he goes back to sleep in a short while. As for sleepwalking, the same advice applies. You do, however, want to make sure he's safe from falling down the stairs or out of a window.

Children aged from 3 to 6 are usually the ones who experience night terrors. Sometimes they continue for a little longer. Of course they are hard to ignore, but it truly is best not to awaken them. You need your rest too, although it is difficult to sleep through a night terror event.

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Dr. Noel Swanson runs a very interesting free newsletter on children's behavior, so if you could do with some tips for dealing with your children it might be worth a visit. Also visit here for more parenting articles.
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