Parenting Advice: The Key to Solving Society's Woes!

The problem is that children don't arrive with an owner's handbook.

Which is tragic, really, since they are probably the most complex and difficult items that we ever need to manage. Even more tragic when you realize that parenting is the single most important job in the world - the fate of entire communities, nations and continents depends on the quality of parenting that the children receive.

Most parents get by. Their kids grow up and also get by. They live average lives in average communities, and raise the next generation to do the same.

But in an increasingly complex society, is that good enough?

First, if average is average, then half the population are below average. We see the results of that all around us - crime, poverty, prostitution, homelessness, child abuse and so on. And we see the cycles of depravation repeated from one generation to the next. As ineffectual parents pass on their lack of skills to their children.

Suppose, just for a moment, that we could do raise this general standard? Suppose that, before these damaged and deprived children, they could learn some new skills, new ways of understanding the parenting process so that they don't have to just repeat the mistakes of their own parents? Wouldn't that benefit us all in the long run?

Second, look around at the leaders in our society? What do you see? Corruption? Selfish ambition? Hidden agendas? Don't we need more heroes? More statesmen of outstanding virture, courage, leadership and wisdom? It is said that behind every successful man is a successful woman? Isn't that woman most often the man's mother? What if we could raise the standard of parenting so that we had more people growing up in secure, loving, confident families so that, instead of manifesting hurt, insecurity, and mistrust, our leaders could show a wondrous capacity for love, kindness and generosity?

Third, don't we, as parents ourselves, want to give our own children the best possible start to life? For them to grow up happy, confident, and skilled in social relationships? Don't we long for them to be able to avoid the mistakes that we made?

How can you teach and guide your children when all you have is your parent's example to guide you? Unless we take deliberate steps to improve our knowledge and understanding, all we can do is operate out of ignorance and guesswork. Is that good enough for your children and their children? Perhaps it was "good enough" for you as a child, but was it the best it could have been?

So why is it that the idea of getting some training as a parent is so repugnant to most people? Why is there such a social stigma to the idea of admitting that, when it comes to raising kids, we don't know it all?

Isn't that just shear madness? In every other area of life we pay good money and invest many hours of time to get the training we need to learn new skills. Yet when it comes to raising our own children, we think we can just make it up as we go along?

Isn't it time we moved on from that? Isn't it time that the normal expectation would be that people take parenting training at various points along the journey, just as the normal expectation, now, is that expectant mothers take ante-natal classes?

Such ante-natal advice and help has had a major impact on the health of newborn babies. Isn't it reasonable to expect that widespread parenting advice and help would raise the health of our society and our world?

To bring it closer to home, take a look at your own life? If you have children, are you doing the best you can? How do you know you are? You don't know what you don't know, so if you have not had some teaching, how can you know that you are doing all you can to inspire and motivate your children? That you are adapting your behavior to match their temperament so as to best give them confidence and teach them responsibility? Wouldn't it be worth to spend a bit of time and money to read some books, attend a seminar, or watch a DVD so that you can understand them even better?

And how will your children learn good parenting skills? Should they just watch what you do and copy that?

Do you not think that something this basic should be taught in school, along with the three R's as a vital life skill?

So, when you are next watching some horrific human tragedy - a murder, rape, or suicide - unfold on the news, ask yourself, "could we have prevented this by giving that person's parents and grandparents better parenting skills, advice, and guidance?".

Then go out and get yourself a parenting book. Read it and discuss it with your friends. You might be amazed at the insights you get about your children - and even yourself.

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Dr. Noel Swanson offers free expert www.good-child-guide.com/parenting/”>parenting help on his website - you will also find a free chapter to his highly acclaimed book, the GOOD CHILD Guide. Why not discuss parenting issues with other parents on a www.yesparenting.com/forum/”>parenting forum?
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