Teenagers Feel Stress Too

When our children reach the age of 13-14 years old, their life changes. Now they become real teenagers with all good and bad stuff this brings. They will have to face enormous amounts of stress, often for the first time in their lives. They will have to pass their first "real" exams - ones that will decide about their whole future. They will fall in love for the first time in their lives and will probably have sex some time after that. Finally, they will be in danger of getting into alcohol and drugs problems and they will have to fight with the urge to just let go on life. And, worst of all, for the first time in their lives parents will not (and should not) solve their problems, but will only advise their children offering limited assistance.

The first and the most common reason of teenagers' stress is their grades. The one thing that parents should do to make it a bit easier is to pay attention to how their children fare at school all the time, not just the day they receive a report card. Do not get angry if the child brings poor grades home, but offer your assistance and spend some extra time helping your children learn. Remember that in order to truly improve the grade, you and your children should work all semester, so don't think that you spending with your child an hour per two months will do, you have to learn with them continuously. If you don't have time or knowledge necessary to help, consider hiring a tutor.

Another major problem for teenagers is the pressure they get from their peers. They may all try to force your children into drugs, leaving school, smoking cigarettes or having sex. However, you must not cut your children's ties with their friends and schoolmates - lack of contacts with other teenagers would result in dire psychological pathologies and underdevelopment of crucial social skills. The thing that you should do is to explain clearly and to the best of your ability what will happen to them if they get in trouble with, say, drugs and what awaits them in future if they stay clear of trouble. Also, it is a good thing to help them find funny activities and interesting pastimes that will be enjoyable by teens and won't cause destruction in their lives.

"The first time" is probably one of the most dangerous causes of teenage stress. There are people who do not feel stressed about grades. They are people who are impregnated against the negative influence coming from their peers. However, there is no one who is not stressed when it comes to having sex for the first time. The role of parents in such situation is very delicate. They cannot decide for their teenage children when and with whom this will happen - this is one sphere where no teenager will tolerate parent's interference. However, you can make everything safer and easier for their kids if you talk with them a lot about relationships and sex and give them all necessary information to make an informed choices. Tell them that not being ready to have sex is perfectly normal and breaking relationships if one side tries to force sex is perfectly ok and is a sign of strength, not weakness. Also, make sure that your children knows about all good and bad sides of sex and is able to see the alternatives to their current situation. This will make all the stress much smaller and all possible mistakes much easier to cope with.

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