Tips for Coping with a Misbehaving Child

The British have increased their media and news coverage regarding misbehaving children in school in recent days. The topic usually ends with a solution that centers around removing troublemakers from the traditional classroom setting.

This time, however, the latest spin on this is to make the parents stay at home to look after them, once they have been thrown out of school.

It does annoy me, this kind of nonsense! At least this time there is some talk of keeping open (and maybe even building more) special schools.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

This leads you to wonder what you can do as a parent if your child has been sent home from school for misbehaving. I have thought about this in detail after dealing with the very same issues with my oldest child.

1. DO NOT sit around blaming yourself for being useless parents. That won't help anyone. Of course your parenting could improve - that is true for everyone. So read some books and do some learning, not moaning.

2. The school has not failed to support your child. Your school does care about your child and maybe the mishandled education of your child is due to issues beyond their control like not having enough resources or poor teacher training.

3. Seek out assistance from the local education authority (LEA). They should be able to provide an alternative learning situation for your child. You need to be persistent when you contact them, but avoid being rude. You can ask your politicians and newspapers to help you get the ball rolling if you need to.

4. Be prepared to have your child move on to an alternative classroom environment. Be ready for these changes. It is a great idea to comprehend that your child needs this assistance and to take care of it now. It will be much worse in the future if you avoid dealing with your child's misbehavior.

5. DO consider the possibility of problems such as ADHD and Asperger's being at the root of the problems. The right environment makes and enourmous difference for children such as these, which is why it is crucial to find the right type of school environment.

6. Don't be tempted to look beyond your child's behavior or kid yourself into thinking that they are a model student. You may feel like defending your child and think that everyone is wrong about his behavior. It is more productive to acknowledge that there could be a problem and work it out with help from the LEA.

These are a sample of the issues you may have to deal with, so be ready to conquer them.

Hope that is of some help to you, if you are struggling with this at home. And, if you are an educator, please don't be one of the ones that keeps trotting out that nonsense about excluding children as being the solution! It helps no one, and solves no problems.

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Do your kids play you up? Then you should really take a look at Dr. Noel Swanson's excellent website, www.good-child-guide.com/. He also has a free newsletter on children's behavior managementthat is packed with advice.
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