Using Your Attention to Be Happy

In every moment, there are two possibilities. One possibility is to have all of our curiosity, attention, and passion focused on what is happening. The other, is to have that same curiosity, attention, and passion focused on what is not happening, what is not present, or what we think should or shouldn't be happening. In every moment, the question is: What are you giving your attention to? Are you allowing what is, or going to battle with it-trying to change it in some way?

When our focus is on what is, our experience of what is opens up and becomes bigger, richer, and more complete. But when it is on what is not (the past, the future, or any thought about what is), our experience of the moment contracts and becomes narrower and full of suffering and struggle, because inherent in a focus on what is not is a struggle with what is.

We discover that much of the time we are oriented toward what is not and in opposition to what is. Life can be mostly about how to make our experience better and have more pleasure, and how to avoid the things that are painful. We evaluate our experience to see what's wrong with this moment and how it could be improved. We ask ourselves what could be added to it to make it better. As a result, our attention becomes very narrow and our awareness very limited as we focus on our own thoughts about the moment instead of the moment itself.

If we see how much we struggle with what is, the next tendency is to then go to battle with that. We try to fix this tendency to try to change everything. But that is only more of the same: All that has changed is that now we are struggling against our tendency to try to change things. We end up suffering over the fact that we are suffering.

Another possibility is to notice how you suffer, without trying to change anything about it. Just allow that you don't allow much. Recognize that that is the way it is. This struggling is what we were conditioned to do; and this it turns out that this conditioning is also a part of what is.

Once we stop being in opposition to what is, it is possible to see how all of our struggling comes from the idea of a "me". Without the assumption that something is my experience, there wouldn't be much point in trying to change anything about the moment. Our effort and struggle to change what is only makes sense if there is a me. It is all in service to maintaining the idea of a me. In fact, the struggle is the me. When there is no struggle, there is no me. All of our suffering is how we have and maintain an identity.

Once again, there is a tendency is to try to fix this by changing our beliefs about our identiy. We try to get rid of identification, which is another way of focusing on what is not. Yet, we are then still suffering because now we are struggling with our tendency to identify. Instead of accepting of what is, we are looking toward how it should be: I ought to know better; I should already know who I am.

Another possibility is always available: to simply be present to everything including the tendency to identify, without trying in any way to change anything. If something is happening, then that's what is.Let it be just the way it is. it is all amazing, even the fact that there seems to be a "me". You may see how ultimately unreal this "me" is, but that does not mean there is any need to struggle with it. Why assume that ther is anything wrong that needs to be fixed? Without any effort or struggle, this moment is enough to enjoy. What a gift to be here!

Whenever it is just fine for everything to be just the way it is including any identity and struggle, then much more of what is can be recognized in our awareness. If we are present to and allowing our struggle, then it is also possible to notice something beyond struggle and any effort to maintain our identity. What that something is, is our true nature or Being.

Along with awareness of identification and the struggle and suffering inherent in that, is an awareness of this larger ground of Being in which everything is happening. When we see that all the me is and ever has been is a lie, but we don't turn away from that awareness or judge ourselves for it or try to get rid of the me; then we start to notice that, along with the struggling inherent in the me, is a beautiful, rich presence of Being, which is allowing everything, including the experience of me. We come to see that the me's struggle is only a tiny percentage of our entire experience and that this struggle is happening in an ocean of allowing. This allowing is Being.

We can sometimes even notice what it is that is allowing It is Being that allows and that is what we truly are. This realization can be a very surprising jolt or a very simple sense of waking up to something very familiar. It is Being that has always allowed even when it seemed like you were doing it.

Paradoxically, what can open our eyes to the larger reality of Being is realizing how much we actually enjoy identifying. Once we completlely allow everything, it is easier to admit that identifying as a "me" has been fun. The appearance of a separate self is a creative act. It makes up the story of our lives, and these stories inspire many to create great literature and art. We may suffer from our identity, but we also love it. The "me" is not a mistake. It's as natural as everything else in this world. But there is also the even richer possibility of no longer taking the me to be the totality of who we are. Why limit ourselves to a small identity, when the much larger Being of our true nature is always here. In that there is no suffering.

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